Inspiration, Music, and Madness-part 3-Into the Now

  OK, kids, part three. I swear this will be the last one. Next week, we'll move on to something more interesting, radishes or table cloths or something.....
   So, for people who don't know me....My later teen years were spent being buck wild!! I had turned out to be a fairly decent guitar player by the time I was 16 and started playing in a few bands with kids I went to school with. Nothing earth shattering but all good experience.
   Unfortunately, I spent more time getting fucked up and chasing girls. I concentrated more on living the rock-n-roll lifestyle than focusing on what it took to be a success. Now, that said, I was completely serious about music. After high school I wanted to move to California and attend The Guitar Institute in L.A.
I had sent for and received their literature and had begun the process of enrolling.
   Until my girlfriend at the time got pregnant.
   Then all of that shit went straight out the window.
   I ended up marrying her when I was 17, halfway through our senior year of high school. Our oldest son was born less than a week after we graduated.
   It was tough for a long time. I still played in a band with my best friend but I was more than a little bitter about squandering my opportunity to get the hell out of Bethel, Ohio. My drug use and drinking skyrocketed and as you can guess my marriage fell apart as did my band.
   Afterwards, I spent a lot of years lost. I got a decent job and kept my head down trying to provide for my kids and wife #2. I still wrote songs and poetry from time to time but didn't take it seriously. I had a bad attitude about it all and figured I missed my shot. Most of what I wrote then was dark and depressing, reflecting my own insides. There were stops and starts along the way with bands and poetry getting published here and there, but nothing significant. This was mostly due to my own negativity and lack of patience more than any thing else.
   Then, two things happened within days of each other that changed my whole perspective on life.
    In August of 2006 my best friend killed himself in a holding cell in a county jail. Then, four days later, the day of his funeral, I found out the company I had worked for, for 15 years, was closing.
    I had a complete mental breakdown.
    Of course, I didn't have the luxury of being able to lay down, freak out and somehow try to put it all in perspective. No, kids, this was a breakdown on the run. My family needed me.
    After the initial shock of both events subsided and more than a few hours long stares out of my bedroom window on long sleepless nights. I knew I had to change. I had to quit feeling sorry for myself, take control and make things happen the way I wanted them to.
   Life is too short to leave to chance and wishful thinking. I had to create my own reality.
   It was then, I started writing seriously. More importantly, I started studying my craft seriously. Not having the money or time to go back to school, I got my hands on a syllabus for a local college's creative writing course and set out on my own.
     I started writing poetry again, too, but this time, it was focused on beauty and Imagism and just being grateful for everything I'd survived and everyone I loved.
    As I was all doing this, I started writing my first novel, too. It's about my younger days and the break-up of my first marriage but mostly it's about all of the good and bad times with my best friend and the greatest band that almost was. 
   When it gets published, it will be dedicated to him.