I don't know what to make of the gig our band played at the 133 Club this weekend. I guess I shouldn't be surprised with the mixed reviews. Some loved it/some hated it. I was great/I was too loud. I showed off too much/I looked like I was having fun and that helps sell the band....It's a lot to try and sort through.
I know for sure it wasn't the greatest show I'd ever performed, but I had good time. That should be all that matters....
But it's not.
Band dynamics are an unholy motherfucker to deal with. I hate the politics of trying to get 5 people in the same room at the same time and moving in the same direction. IT is not easy. It is my least favorite part of the ride.
And, it is getting old.
I have a terrible reputation for ditching bands. That's because I have a hell of a time getting along with people whose ego outweighs their talent. I know I'm not the best guitar player, but, I also don't go running around professing to be The One, either.
I just want to play, man. If I could get around all of the other bullshit that would be just dandy.
I've put a lot of hard work into this band and after a year and a half I still don't think it's jelled.
I am right on the edge of throwing in the towel and moving on.
As my faithful followers know, I am working on getting my first book ready for publication. I am thoroughly enjoying the process even though it is a lot of hard work. The best thing for me is....I am the only one I have to deal with. The only external decisions I have to make is which mug I want to pour my coffee in and whether I have enough cigarettes to get me through my schedule.
That's it.
The mixed reviews for the book are still in the future, and, hopefully, they'll be mixed?!? No creation of art is ever without it's detractors. I understand that. But, whatever happens, I know it will rise or fall from my shoulders. There will be no variables that are out of my control. No mixed vision. No clash of egos or wills.
Whatever fate awaits my book, I know it will be because of me and only me.
I sure hope I know what I am doing................
yup. people do that to ya. No advice. you know what you can and will put up with and what you can't and won't.
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